1. Dalton Rapattoni – almost too much to like
2. Olivia Rox (Hill) – most talented, least self-aware human on the planet
3. MacKenzie Bourg – best of the niche singers, fodaluvagawd don’t dance
4. Trent Harmon – upside as wild and unpredictable as his range
5. Emily Brooke – the Allie?
6. Tristan McIntosh – most improved, Marilyn McCoo lookalike could win
7. James Dawson VIII – could be David Cook, Casey James, or Reed Grimm
8. Sonika Vaid – resident piano playing ballad singing pageant queen
9. Tommy Stringfellow – Buddy Holly in an Ed Sheeran costume
10. Shelbie Z – who knew Delta Burke could sing?
11. Jenn Blosil – Maria Muldaur on horse tranquilizers
12. La’Porsha Renae – chia pet with a heart of gold, or care bear with the heart of a lion?
13. Avalon Young – Andrew Garcia’s bestie, sings like a cherry gum drop tastes
14. Jenna Renae – Needs to establish herself right away, but could be moment maker
15. Jordan Sasser – religious vibe could be blessing – or curse
16. Amelia Eisenhauer – Peppermint Patty with a fiddle, but she ain’t that country
17. Adam Lasher – what’s new Pussycat?
18. Jeneve Rose Mitchell – Peacock without a – well, she can’t sing.
19. CJ Johnson – Bar band singer who wouldn’t be one of the ten best in Spokane
20 Manny Torres – Oily bastard with great rhythm, mediocre voice
21. Lee Jean – still sounds like they are letting him use autotune
22. Stephany Negrete – pretty girl, pretty good, pretty well screwed in this bunch
23. Kory Wheeler – my theory: the FBI said keep him so they can watch him
24. Gianna Isabella – can her mother go a minute and a half without burping her?